of all the things I still remember
summer's never looked the same
the years go by and time just seems to fly
- daughtry

+++


time seems to fly really.
and i'm back on a sunday and in this space.

you dont realize till its all over,
f1 weekend, a five day shift week and Mrs Lee's passing, RIP.
and suddenly you wake up and there is no longer daylight passing through the windows,
its only then you realize that a new week is starting.

i think you dont have to be crazy to understand me, but it really helps.
sometimes i think i'm living in a world of my own seriously,
because i dont see time by the future but by a day-to-day basis.
and thats very dangerous.
the only reason why recently i see my life in weeks is only because my scheduling of work,
and thats about all.

lunch today with the family.
so with the cousin-in-laws, awkward conversation commenced.
so yeah, i know my future isnt secured.
results are gonna be out in about 12 hours time?
i know i didnt fail anything but will this sem's results pull my disgusting GPA up?
everyone keeps talking about universities and it scares me really.
because the application process will finally make me realize how disgusting my results are,
and i might end up not even going anywhere.
that freaks me out, such that i tossed and turned in bed till about five thirty this morning.
(the timing was a wild guess but it felt almost so cos i switched my bedside lamp off at around three)

naturally the cheerleader in me would love to get into a local university,
be it my first choice in course or my next in line.
seeing photos of friends living and breathing a more adult life with books almost makes me choke on jealousy,
probably to the obsessive point that i cut out their faces and put mine in.
okay NOT, but bordering on delusional.

but yeah, maybe i am not loving this tecnical aspect or what i'm doing.
so doing something i love like research studies actually seduces me like no other.
i know that it might not be exactly what it cuts out to be, but still?!
my parents have been breathing down my back to work out my NS administration,
of which i have kind of completed what i can,
which includes pushing back my napfa test to December with is a sigh of relief.

i guess i really have to sit down one day next week to think,
to work out my options and what i can or cannot do.
the odds are for that there are alot more things i cant do.
plus grades that determine my GPA are coming out tomorrow so congratulations to me.
tempted to sleep on it, but chances of me sleeping early tomorrow isnt gonna happen.

i wonder if i can go vegetarian the whole week next week.
plus i'm gonna start my exercise regime, with the hitting the runs and the pool.
i really have to start shaping for my napfa test now that i manage to push it back.
and i'm clearing my schedule from work, so that shouldnt give me any excuses.
i need to get back the rush i used to get from exercising, which hasnt happened in a long time.

let's see what this week brings.
and you, wont have any say.

monday: lunch, movie with tingers, closing @ dempsey.
tuesday: closing @ dempsey
wednesday: dinner or bbq with classmates
thursday: -
friday: clubbing? we'll see.
saturday: closing @ dempsey

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