todae was quite a fun day. but it favoured the sian side. oh and roy crashed aj todae just to see how the school would function on a celebratory kind of mood. hmm interesting.. oh and i sort of realised that ajc is not exactly a very easy school to crash because of the all the hype of security. attendance will be taken at every lesson and if for tutorials, it is absolutely impossible to attend one of them beacuse they really isnt anything like mass tutorial (well, probably chemistry then though it seemed more like a mass lecture beacuse we were just supposed to do our tutorials on the spot). well, anyway, roy followed zkai the whole day todae because he had lectures, physics and econs. my chinese teacher ROCKS! he is so good. mr chan i tink. he spent the whole lesson today to talk about chinese new year celebrations and giving us riddles to guess which usually the answers came out in the form of words. i am SO happy! i got 1 question correct! yay!

YAY! aaron is going to crash ajc on wed.. we welcome him with open arms.. :p

interestingly, the sc has to give oranges to the teachers also.. i didnt think that this continued in jc also.

went back to cat high to see my teachers. actually, gerald and i were more interested to see how schoolmates and to find out where they went and how they have been doing. i think the aj people were the last to arrive and the innova guys last. apparently not many cj people appeared because they're lessons end at two plus three. they are damn poor thing lor, their principal made them attend lessons because today was only the eve of cny eve so technically it wouldnt be a holiday. that is pure evil lor.. met alot of my old friends today, so fun. all from around Singapore, but most flocked to nj, vj and aj. nj is so good, they had some kind of 'nj superstar' today so they could wear their own clothes. i also wan... anyway, its really great to meet up with old friends again and find out how they're doing. but i'm so sad because quite a few teachers left already, ms lilian kwok for example, when we tried to look for her in the pe office but mr chew said that she went back to ccab already. so sad lor.. she was such a great teacher, wait, she IS a great teacher.. :p though we went back, we missed alot of teachers, like mrs bala who mysteriously disappeared, mr danny tan who apparently left quite early with his luggage beacuse he was going back to malaysia to celebrate chinese new year, mr lee liak phong (the GREATEST chemistry teacher of all) who is currently teaching in hcjc, mr leong who mysteriously disappeared also.. but we met up with mdm ng, mr bobby yong, mr tan ping hock, ms mary hua, mrs tham, ms ferenandez, ms thian, ms leong (long lao shi), mdm endang and many others. it was really nice to talk to teachers from a different perspective as the alumni. its quite endearing.

i should have burned a cd with 'its gonna be me' so i can ask all the aj students to dance to show the other people.

now that we are all busy with lectures and all, we all seem very busy. but somehow when i have free time, i keep searching pockets of memories of the novitas orientation. ya, you may think that i must have loads of time to spare to think about it. but it just seems like a footprint in the sand that refuses to be washed away. it made quite a big impact, and sometimes its very easy to miss it when you're storing new memories but i seem to walking round in circles to it again and again. it was an absolute special 4 days and i dont think that orientation 2 will give me that same kind of impression. for example last night, though i was absolutly hyped up after choir, when i came across 'its gonna be me' in zkai's ipod, the memories keep flooding back again. and it didnt help when i kept bumping into izhar and the other councillors the entire evening. and those who know me, after choir, especially after the evening sessions, i get very high and will sing and sing and sing and my chosen song was 'everything and more' last night on the way to the train station, and i was blasting it in my normal voice with zkai. i got SO loud until the girls walking behind me kept staring me at the train station. haha.. it was extremely enjoyable.

oh, 19'06 ROCKS! i love you guys.. yannyee(you'll never find this blog! haha!), guangyi(one day we'll officially dance 'its gonna be me', huiting, yi hui(love your solo at the band performance), annie(haha!), sylvia, agnessa, anushka, agapera, abigial(guangyi can dance lor!), nurfahana, ruixi, sasha, xueshi, ellyn, yi de, william, esme, natalie(choir ROX), if i forgot anyone please tag me kkz.. we shld come up with some kind of a class symbol because our class is so fun!

and yannyee, its alright to fall in love, there's nothing wrong.. :p dont forget, you can come to me for advice.. (anyway you look really good in your pic in your fone lar.. me not sacarstic, REALLY!)

happy chinese new year in advance, my dear friends...

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whew, finally i can take some time out to blog an entry.. well, its not that i am especially free today but just that these few days, i've been really thinking alot.. so many things had happened over this week, and it really made me sit down and think about them..

went for the council immersion today. hmm, it was quite interesting but kinda overwhelming because i'm just not used to having so much information suddenly thrown at me.. well not literally but i just came from a very invigorating session of choir. i was surprised that mark gave such a great pep talk to us, honestly, i was ready to leave for council but after his talk, i sort of got inspired and very committed and passionate about choir. whatever mark intended to do with that talk of his, it definitely worked for me. i found this little piece of me that loved being in a choir that was hidden and buried. being in a choir before that did face many challenges, it was particularly sore when it hit me. and before i left, everyone kept asking why i should want to join the council in the first place, it wasnt the j1s but the j2s. they were momentarily surprised and somewhat coincidently, everyone commented that i can only choose one, choir or council, because these two ccas are particularly heavy and one can hardly find time to accomodate both. but that's beside the point. while walking towards lt5, their words kept ringing repeatedly in my mind, such that for this combination of these two ccas, i am only able to choose one of them. choir and council has been my passion since primary school..


i feel a strong sense of passion for these two particular organizations. my passion is in music and singing but yet i also feel the sam towards helping the school become a better place; providing a service towards the school and building up the school spirit among all the members of the school, be them be current, new or even the alumni. i really feels good to see the school grow and seeing all the students loving the school with combustible passion. i am really torn between these two. i dont want to sacrifice any of these beacuse they are my greatest loves and losing either one of them would be losing a big part of my life. it may sound like a cliche but it is very true. you may ask me to take up both but inside me, i know that i can never manage both as both do take up much time. i already do not have much time for myself, whatsmore when my committments start to increase by the tonne?

someone please approach me to tell me what to do.. i'm in dire need for help.

over the course if these few days, i realised how people who need help are so close to heart. when i found out, it was such a big blow to me. when you told me late that night, i was shocked and dumbfounded, i really didnt know that your condition was that serious. i wouldnt give it another thought and i would have been willing to just be next to you to try to share ur burden. you struck a chord in me that got me thinking and having this sense of appreciativeness that no one had ever done. i wouldnt have minded giving up time or energy just to be with a friend in need. you can put ur trust in me. however, i really dunno how you interpret this friendship. sure, it may appear a little superficial because we havent really talked face to face but if you give me the chance, i would do it. you made me think in a whole new perspective and view the world in a different light. the thing is i dunno what is your perspective of this friendship, maybe you could view me as an irritating j1 or you may think of it as something deeper. i really dunno. that is why i do not dare to start anything, a conversation or a game. whatever my words were, it came as true as it could get, i cant see any reason as to why i should fake anything, honestly. that is just not me. whether it is the latter or the former, please at least approach me to tell me, because i'm really confused as to where this is going.

a whole spectrum of feelings are surrounding me. i no longer know where to go but i a just allowing the current to carry me along.

i no longer want to paint a smile on my face.

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."

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interestingly, a whole week plus has passed by since the last time i had blogged. but many things had happened ever since. (my heart has finally melted.. :p)

oo.. choir practice. well, choir just started this week and it has been a very enriching experience.. i realised that it has been VERY long since i saw mr kwei and so far, his attention to me has been very interesting. he wants us to sing eric whitacre's 'waternight' and according to jingkang, its supposed to be a rather challenging song in terms of its form and interpretation and the best thing is that it has an overwhelming 16 parts. i remember mr kwei mentioning something about a song with 16 parts to cathigh choir but he seemed to forget anything about that ever since so now it looks like we have the chanve now.. naturally, the bass is also split up into four parts other than the norm of two.. so naturally its exciting to find out who would be taking the highest part, aka sop1 an the lowest part, aka bass4.. and interestingly, mr kwei is extremely confident that i can fit into the part though i can only almost touch the bottomest note.. and he just has to announce it to the whole choir and make everyone goggle at me.. =.= great and now i'm supposed to be very 'man' because i can reach the lowest note..

oh, touching on the topic of choir. i just wanna comment about a certain female soprano standing somewhat opposite me whilst standing in the satb form.. you know what? stop trying to act as if you can sing because you cant.. you hardly open ur mouth when it came to warm-ups. for the first time, i thought you had a little trouble with ur voice and kept ur mouth close to sing at the next segment of the warmup but NO, you kept ur mouth close subsequently for the next few warmups.. of course, i dont deliberately pinpoint people who have trouble singing because i understand that not all singers are at their best all the time, me included but you didnt have to go around shamelessly pormiscuating yourself all around the guys on the other side of the room as if you are some kind of geisha serving tea to ur customers, flitting from one flower to another. because if you are, you'd be hardly earning one ohana an hour, which is not even enough for you to buy a bottle of sake. you know what, with your type of attitude and still daring to perform duets and gossiping salaciously about other people whom i believe are tiers higher than you, i'm still surprised that you're still not kicked out by your okasan, an actual form of Hatsumomo. surprising and shocking. get lost from this okiya, and sweep yourself to another hanamachi where you might actually be appreciated for your 'lovely' attributes of your character. go to the katsuyo if you must.

i dunno why people tend to focus on the bad side of things.. for all you know, you may miss precious time with people you are with now.. you never know what's God plan for you so appreciate all that is around you especially now time is short until the results come. that's why i'm trying to forget all the horrid the things that had happened to me. that's why i have been telling everyone to appreciate all the good things around us now.. the school, the facilities, the people around, your friends. even those things that have been done unto me, i shove them below my shoes and hide them there. there's no more time to spend on to deal with frivolous pettiness and getting all angry. that's why i am so unwilling to discuss about it, i dont want to bring it up to surface to deal with it, i know its bad but i'm still going to bottle it up because they are better things in this world to be appreciated and savoured. if i don't do it know, i may never have the chance again..

am i the only person in this world that cannot iceskate? why cant there be a ski area in S'pore? *argh* izhar, you better teach me to iceskate even if it takes the whole day.. >.< >(you just have to make me remember caramel and custard again)

"Love may be closer than you think.."

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i just realised that today is fri 13th. i remember seeing it in the papers this morning but the hustle and bustle of the day promptly made me forget all about it.. yea, when i was younger, i used to be all jazzed up about it but nothing seemed to happen on that day so i always seemed to assume that the day would not be unlucky but actually lucky.. well, looking back on the events of the things that happened today, it seems so. the lectures were fairly pleasant and my greatest wish for today did come true so i'm very thankful for that..

i saw the people i wanted to see repeatedly and i didnt see the people i didnt want to see.. i just realised this today, if you tell yourself that you actually like someone, somehow you would keep seeing that particular person the whole day, whether subconciously or not, you will happen to bump into that person.. its very weird, i dunno why but it just happens.. i saw her at assembly, i saw her in the hall for the 1st period, saw her during break, saw her when she was rushing for her class in the audi, saw her when i was settling down for lumch, saw her in the audi for maths, saw her when i left the hall, saw her when i left school. and that made the total of 8 times today alone.. i dont deny that i minded seeing her one too many times but well, its still very weird, why does she have to be in the class next to mine but not mine! grr.. >.< just too shy to approach her to talk to her.. :)

while i was walking to the train station, boon teck struck me with his view of life and it made me realise many things that i seemed to have overlooked in my quest for immature and impratical things.. he was discussing with me with his contemplation about whether he should stay in andersonjc or go to a polytechnic.. before he left, he left me thinking, saying, "everyone is different, having different learning speeds and ambitions." being alone in the train, it left me with plenty of time to think about what he said. i realised that in this world, there is actually no such thing as being 'normal' because everyone is very much different from each other, in terms of looks, aims and the way they do things.. there is no such thing as being average. actually, all of us have no basis to judge people, calling them as ah lians or weirdos. what are we comparing them against, us? how many people can say, 'i'm no different from the people around me.' whilst i was on the train, i found myself with a new perspective looking at the people around me.. i found that everyone was different. no matter what, the outside does not tell of the person's character, its the inside that counts.. its cliche but its vry true. instead of judging people from the outside, i've decided to first approach the person and only through talking to that person will i judge him or her on his/her character. people do not necessary seem as good/bad as they are from the outside..

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.

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i'm so sick of everything.. yups, just came back from the 2nd day of 'school' life in aj.. will explain more later, just let me vent all my fustrations out first..

look people, can you all just stop judging me? i am just absolutely sick and tired of prentending to be who i am. yes, i am very unpredictable at times, extremely friendly, getting pissed with everyone i see, sulking in a corner. i dont deny that sometimes i am very hard person to deal with but i'm not like that all the time.. i do have times when i am extremely accomodating and will get serious when the time arises. i'm sure zkai knows just who exactly i am.. in fact most of the time i am extremely accomodating, whatever task i'm given to do, i would do it wholeheartedly and give my all.. thats why if you see all my proposals that i hand up, its never in a slipshod condition.. yes i do not deny that i am shy when it comes to meeting new people for the first time, and yes i do work better when people approach me but the other way around, i go a little shy and seemingly dao.. you may have gotten the wrong side of it and maybe sometimes it will seem as if i am being rude or obnoxious but i'm not. it's just a flaw that i have in me.. i tend to squirm and speak as if i am a little mouse (literally).. but if the time arises and urgency calls for it, yes, i do break all barriers and go out of my comfort zone.. however, these things do not come often.. but since i have arrived at a new stage of my life into a new world and a new level of maturity, i know that i would have to move on and step out of my comfort zone because only then can i achieve great things, but please give me some time, baby steps are still after all steps.. :p

please only judge me for who i am, only when you know me well enough. i dont want to paint a smile on my face anymore but to be myself..

yes, i attempted to make the first move not because of any ulterior motives but to sincerely make friends.. i was pleasantly surprised upon seeing ur side of sensitivity and your overwhelming passion for the things you love. you and i were similar in such things.. yes i do idolise you to a certain extent because you were able to do the things that i had never been able to do though i'm still trying, juggle all the things to do with one hand and still have another hand to dance with. :p


in case you missed it, i smiled and said hi..
(in case you think i'm talking abt you, it probably is you) >.<

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wow.. yesterday was quite crazy. yesterday was the last day of the novitas orientation in aj.. the day was so hectic and crazy, but i loved every single moment of it.. the games in the morning were really quite fun and for the very first time, medeira and aquatico finally had the chance to collide head-on in one of the games.. of course, that meant that that finally i had the chance to fight wif zkai!! anyway, i absolutely enjoyed the 1st game, i tink the title had something to do wif landmines or something.. anyway, the objective was to step on the the white squares and try to go over to the other side.. and this was one time where i witnessed the girls' enthusiasm and sense of balance.. and of course, they were somewhat aided bcos they were wearing skirts/pinafores.. if you are wearing shorts like me, tell me how far can your legs stretch without ripping your shorts.. but luckily for me i fared quite well because i was still after all wearing shorts unlike some other guys who were wearing pants, that would be worse.. but one thing i couldnt stand from some people was why they could not juz stand up straight and plainly hold ur ground. i understand that you may not have the greatest of balance but you should at least try to stand firm wif at least 90% of ur foot planted on the horizontal floor.. it is not as if the ground was slanted.. =.= what really got my blood boiling was that the person had such a weak grip and though i was madly squeezed wif fangqing on the teeny white square, i still had to use more effort to pull him upright the best i could wif one hand wif fangqing and the other clutching his.. after he jerked back to his feet, i juz gave him the 'look' and continued with the game.. show some fighting spirit! grr... >.<>some ogls so it allowed him to casually overhear some things that would have never been told to us and allowed us to put two and two together and find some existence of scandals.. lolz.. everyone likes a good scandal here and there.. haha! ;p

the best part of the night would definitely have to be the hall.. the area's atmosphere was so extremely high and i was surprised that the hall didnt come down and the people living around the school didnt call in to complain.. now with better mikes, the song was very much better and the area got so crazy and everyone was singing/jumping/screaming/running in trains/dancing.. i actually kept singing and singing until i lost my voice.. *coughcough* but the best was yet to come..

here i'm going to dedicate one paragraph all about the dancing.. although it seemed a little cramped in the hall with all six elements together, it really aided to the highness and the ambience.. i danced like i never danced before, and this was the first time i danced, such that i felt that i didnt use any energy at all and given the chance, i could have danced another 10 times without much of a problem.. one thing i must say that seeing everyone dance together in unison must really have been extremely overwhelming.. if i had been on stage looking at everyone, i would have already broken into tears.. its just this overwhelming feeling to see everyone enjoying themselves and showing such enthusiasm.. whats more, to see everyone dancing ever so perfectly, i was surprised that the dance ic didnt do anything that show his emotions.. at this point of time, no words could explain my emotions at that time.. i was so proud of everyone.. i really felt so much love for ajc and i became so 'high' that i wanted to hug everyone.. even all the sc and ogls for organizing such a great orientation..

it is the best orientation i ever had and no other can be compared to it..

Shannon n Marie:
Thank you all for everything! though it had only been a few short days, i really felt that i had seen so much and i really felt the love.. no words can explain all that you have one for us and well, it really goes beyond just a thank you.. you have shown us a side of you that we might not have ever seen.. thank you for everything you had done for us.. THANKS!!

*fundir you're fine, you're so find you blow my mind, hey FUNDIR hey FUNDIR*

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