wouldn't it just be rock and roll,
if liking someone meant that they had to like you back?
of course that'd be another universe,
and something else would probably suck.
- olive snook, pushing daisies

+++


one day,
i will match my pajamas with the wall paper in my house.
:D

these past few days had been such a sorry fest.
aching muscles and feeling really sick after the longest time.
i'm reminded how disgusting it feels like to be sick.
feeling sorry for yourself, lying in a bed that felt the same 15 mins ago,
not being able to sleep, waking up feeling even worse.

and i just discovered the best way to cough out phlegm,
but i shant spill for fear anyone pukes on their keyboard.

glad that the worst of it is over,
and now the dad is back from hongkong.
bearing nomnoms and a dash of good hearted-ness.
now, i'm left with phlegm and hot water bottles to ease the muscle aches.
i knew that it was a bad idea to head to the gym gah.

as much as i look forward to adulthood,
(assuming i will get myself somewhere)
i cant imagine life without my parents.
when i'm sick and down, who's gonna fuss and boil herbal teas?
heck, i might just die alone in my house and never be found till 3 weeks later.
well, its just a thought that ran through my mind while i clutched my arms in bed at four in the morning.

so at last this week approaches its end,
and deadlines start to loom.
which could only mean that holidays are coming.
and then, my second last semester would have ended.
with results like this, how i can get anywhere is really boggling.

this holiday spells alot of work for me.
and the only way is up.
tempted as i am, i need to resist mock social gatherings.
so there.

monday: school
tuesday: school
wednesday: school, corrine bailey rae (woots)
thursday: school
friday: ele's bbq!
saturday: schoolwork.

why does my week sound so much busier in my head?

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i am the flower you are the seed
we walked in the garden; we planted a tree
don’t try to find me,
please don’t you dare
just live in my memory, you’ll always be there
- heart

+++


listening to this song made me (almost) nostalgic.
cos i was wondering where i first heard this song,
then i realized that it was part of my friday nights, or saturdays nights too if you will.
i still remembered the time when my only agenda was just to work my ass off.
i dont know if i still have the energy or agenda do it anymore.
maybe i'm lazy, maybe i'm getting old.

home on the wednesday night,
stuck with an ulcer that makes makes me talk like i have a lisp,
a headache that appeared after my nap,
and a slice of banana cake and a blueberry muffin.
okay the last two things are necessarily bad things,
but i'm too full to even think of them.
i should start eating lesser because lately i have been stuffing my face,
and not even with things i'm enjoying.
just because its there, and maybe even moral obligation to have dinner at home.
i have honestly no complaints to have dinner at home,
but sometimes when i get too full, i question why i ate in the first place.

its quite scary to think about the next three weeks.
after looking at today's schemes from a coupla of good students at the de-briefing,
i'm worried, complete with a good dollop of inadequacy.
i have to buck up really, because thats the only way up.
LE SIGH.

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just happen to be browsing decals,
and i saw this!
can someone buy it for me?
together with a new macbook pweease?
(:

decisions,
whether to go for dimsum tmr,
to do work or watch 'new moon'.
plus i'm getting sleeeeepy meow.

okay going off.

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but you with me
'cause in your company,
i feel happy, oh so happy and complete.
and it's a good excuse, put our love to use.
- kanis grannis

+++


back from bintan,
and oh what a joyride it was.
(i would like to believe that we got back last night,
which would thus give me enough excuses for today)

i'm actually tremendously glad that it worked out.
i was really worried that it might not have worked out.
it even came to the point whereby i deliberately didnt want to announce to the world,
cos concrete plans havent been made so there were chances that i would spend the long weekend at home.

i didnt realize until now, how long it has been since i've been with ma choir peeps.
despite not having an alias to refer to this group,
they form such an impressionable part of my life.
and in the company, i just fall into something so familiar.
like old songs and warm pancakes, however that makes sense.
it almost makes me want to stop time and not go back to reality.
we're definitely not the most psycho and havok-wrecking type,
but it makes me smile knowing even the small teasing words warm the heart.
thats why i faintly remember being upset once regarding the group's amity really long ago,
and being upset to the point of constituting phone calls that lasted for hours,
well it shows how much i treasure it.

in any case,
i'm glad we made this happen.
i didnt particularly needed this holiday,
but it sat down very well on little timmy (my tummy) of mine.
i don't know if future trips are currently on the line,
but i would do it all over again, seasickness and all.
(almost)

well i better bounce back from waxing lyrical.
its time to get my life back in order,
considering that i know that i didnt do well for the previous submission.
hesitant about putting my face on the grinding stone again,
because it hurts so and it saps so much of myself away.
its not that i hate it, on a certain level, i ALMOST like it.
but i have to crawl up such a steep slope to get there.

torn and terrified.
because i could have nothing to hold on to, in the end.
and i'm much to selfloathing to bother doing that thing tomorrow,
but if i never stake myself out, i will never find out.
still, i can name numerous things that i could do instead.

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