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nostalgic day. (:

momentarily happy today because we didnt have to dance the weird aces dance. so obviously that is a bigbig plus factor. it was nice the sky should bless rain down because the ground is in need of a good soaking. so does my soul actually. the roaring winds bringing that little splatter of raindrops was oddly refreshing. sometimes, its these little things that makes people think the most. (:

did i mention that pussycat dolls songs are so dance-worthy?
they make me high. :DD

and choonhang, i order you to buy a carton of subway giant cookies for me to munch because they smell so yummy. XD

*poke* XDD


it was nice meeting up with old friends to go back to cathigh today. it just seems different now cos everyone seems to be a little more attached whilst going back. and i dont mind making a total fool of myself on the bus singing 'Buttons' and 'Mai Hum' because everyone in the bus were all from cathigh. hoho! and it didnt help that whilst i tried to poke people, i always lose my balance. hmph..

seeing the hall filled with so many juniors that are still studying school made me realise how much the school has changed. or it made me realise that i may have been the one who had changed and that the culture may have always been like that. *shrugs* mindsets have changed i guess. some teachers have never changed, but they seem a little more weary and a little fragile. seems like this long weekend will do them good. :D but anyways, it was really REALLY nice to see my old teachers again and to see their faces light up (esp dannytan) with that flicker of recognition in their eyes is really something. i must say that the year hasnt been quite the smooth one for them but glad they've persevered on.
and i love messing up my juniors' hair. (:
(miss you all lots.)

*flickslap*
how i missed it too. (:

watched a 'The Devil Wears Prada' with lots of old friends, kenny, algene, roy, andrew, philip plus zkai, gerald and me. it seems that all aj people seem so bushed. hoho! almost fell asleep in the movie because it seemed so darn long and kept laughing and the psychotic laughters that came from behind me. i missed laughing with them so much and talking abt the latest gossips that filter around the different schools. its just this little closeness and togetherness that i missed so much. it just made me relive those ol' days of meeting for no reason at all just to talk. much talk about the old days and the psycho laughters made me miss our times together again. ((:

and i'm glad that we talked again. (:


i'm just a thinker-of-too-much.
unfortunately, 'cos i cant help it. ):

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i'm still wondering how can anyone attempt to complete unfinished tutorials to the morning light of the sun rising at 645 in the morning?
impossible, i say.

had chemistry consultation today. i was sort of dreading it because i'm not too comfortable confronting with the areas i'm not familiar with. but still did it anyway, and i turned out better than expected. at least i understood reaction kinetics now, stupid witchy lecturer that made everyone lose track of what reaction kinetics is about. bah!

i'm sleepy.
head hurts. ):
have to rush through teachers' day cards tonight..


i guess it all falls down on myself. i'm just trying to be someone i'm not i guess, it probably wasnt the other reasons that made me apprehensive but the only one delaying me from picking the phone up was myself. i know that you were trying hard to avoid silence to occur. i acknowledge that you are stepping out of your comfort zone to help. i don't need or want you put so much effort just to prepare for me. i really feel bad that i havent got anything in return and that i do not put in so much effort through talking to you. it just feels that i'm unable to do anything for you. true, i dont think i can keep myself talking or joking that much, not in front of you anyway. you know that i'm not like that most of the time. maybe i should just stick to myself and do what i do best..

listen.
(if you would tell me.)




just by sitting next to you,
that is comfort enough. (:

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havent blogged since forever.
taipei male chorus performance was interesting. i finally understood how dry a hall can be of choral acoustics. its just scary to be able to hear your own voice sticking out. but all the same, we still managed to serve it up on a silver platter to the audience. and its was really nice to see old friends once again. though it wasnt really for long, i'm glad to see that you all are still ohkay. enjoyed dinner that night because it was spend with great friends and family. (:


jess the cat should just be renamed to guowei.
cute, squeezable and cuddly.
not to mention i pop up at the weirdest of times. :D

i want to talk to you, but i know i wont.
because..
because.

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You are 80% Taurus

by the way, i love having a packet of MnMs for lunch.
yummy. :/

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INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too
5. Bold the questions and answers that swack.

How are you feeling today?
One Winged Angel - Shiro Hamaguchi & Seiji Honda
oo.. interesting song. well, today felt that i was hanging on a single wing. it seemed like i couldnt fly but yet again i seemed to be able to. well, i guess this day has its little ups and downs. best description, a downturned smile.

Will you get far in life?
Yuan Lai - Lin Jun Jie
yuanlai, the beginning, in my own context anyways. :D well, regarding the future, who will ever know but whether i get far in life will be probably what i plan and do in the beginning as foundation to what and how far i can go in life. philosophical.. XD

How do your friends see you?
Not Me, Not I - Delta Goodrem
interesting food for thought. guess my friends dont see me for who i am really. or maybe i'm still searching for me. *shrugs* strange..

Will you get married?
I Love You - Sarah McLachlan
those three little words. it seems to represent the reason for marriage so maybe its telling me that i would get married and with the person i love the most. on the other hand, maybe its telling me that i will always be in love with that one person but marriage will never happen. *shrugs* who comes up with these weird questions anyway??

Will you ever have children?
ABC - Jackson Five
okayy. this seems oddly fitting. maybe i'll definitely have children and five at that who know their ABCs really well and are great singers. but if the little one starts begging me for money for a nosejob, i'll disown him. XD

What is the story of your life?
Looked Into The Wings - Billy Gilman
hmm interesting song to put it into my life. well, maybe it is such that my life has been full of help from the people around me. there hasnt only been just one sole person that has been my guardian angel. i always seem to get lost and i would not know where to go but whenever my path became obsucred and i didnt know where to go. i would find someone to take my hand to lead me back to the right path.

When you saw me getting nowhere
Trying to find a new direction
For a stubborn little voice that said I didn't have a prayer
When my star began to fade
And I found the stage was bare
I looked into the wings and you were there ((:

What was high school like?
Angel - David Tao
actually, so i read that high school refers to our juniorcollege educational system in Singapore so for those who did this question wrongly, whip out your dictionaries and correct it. XD well, lets just say that my junior college has been full of angels. ((:

How can you get ahead in life?
Kuai Le Chong Bai - Wilber Pan and Zhang Shao Han
guess the only way to get ahead is to be positive and being happy! :D

What is the best thing about your friends?
Another Irish Drinking Song - Da Vinci's Notebook
well. this is weird. XDD guess the best thing about my friends is that we keep singing and singing and getting drunk, not on alcohol, but our highness that is spread among each other. XD

What is in store for this weekend?
Climb Every Mountain - Guy Sebastian
okayy, so i have no idea how to interpret this. guess i have to burn my weekends via climbing my mountain of piling work. *roar*

What song describes you?
Do You Hear What I Hear - Whitney Houston
no prizes what this song says about me. sooner than later, you'll get to hear what i just heard. lols! XDD

How is your life going?
Bi-Nam-Ma - Anderson Junior College
guess my life is falling down like the rain and the crackling of thunder, going where the rest of the rainwater goes. but it helps that its a favourite song of mine. (:
contradictory.. ><

What do your friends really think of you?
Sin Sin Sibatu Manikum - Edward Becheras Choir
a round rock rolling down a hill? MEE??!

Do people secretly lust after you?
The Siamese Cat Song (Lady and the Tramp) - Hilary and Haylie Duff
*miao* i'm supposedly the queen cat so which ever little peasant cat that doesnt lust after me shall be denied of milk and starve to death! *evil cat laughter* miao~

How can you make yourself happy?
I Say A Little Prayer For You - Aretha Franklin
guess just by giving a little prayer to little special people, wishing them happiness cause when they're happy, so am i! lols. XD

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guess i'm stuck at home compiling my written report, flowering up my eom with words i've never in my life seen before, and trying to come up with an essay plan for tomorrow's timed practice for econs.

ohh how my life is a routine.
but sadistic me is starting to find project work fun.
i mean, how can anyone not like this avenue to showcase your professionalism and crackerjack proficiency in technical terms and completing things wayy before deadlines. XD
all the same, the restless life of school makes it seem all the more disheartening to go to school.

but choir makes me smile. (:

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special thanks to my xiaodi!
thanks for effortlessly scanning the EoM notes for me. otherwise i would never had finished it.
and thanks for listening.

promise will blog proper soon. (:


oneday.
the bottle cap will explode.

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i really don't know where i'm going.
at a loss of words and emotion.
but..

i dunno how i would react.
i dunno when the floodgates will open.
i dunno how i'll be.

its your silent presence that comforts me.
the comfort in the knowledge, knowing me.

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reply to tags.

Wakka02: all my skins are nice. DUH! haha. XD

belbel: lets just hope. i never will know when its going to come but..just keep on hoping. but thanks for being there. means alot. (:

sasha: haha. long time no hear you. i finally linked ya, see i'm SOO nice. Xd yupp thanks. ((:

joey: i'll try me best. (:

aggie: but thanks for just sitting beside me and listening. you're my best dajie! ((:

s affi e: you know what? just approach me anytime and i'll EWWW for you. that is when there's no one ard. HAHA.

abu: abuabuabu! so sad but had to leave early last night, couldnt say a proper goodbye. yupp, the little angel's going on my fone. takecare!

tongx: who doesnt? its just beautiful, calming and special in its special way.

datou: haha. you can just ask and i'll help you put songs into ur blog. (:

Pe|YonG: angel is SUPER nicenice. ((:

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yesterday was just a bad day.
something, someone, somewhere, was trying to tell me something.
i just know.

i couldnt sleep the previous night.
woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
had unfinished work due.
economics work was missing.
ipod was out of battery.
had chemistry pre-spa.
read the thermometer wrongly.
got all my values wrong.
calculation was half done.
didnt even touch the last question.
just screwed it up.
forgot to bring chinese homework.
sang weirdly.
denied of the chance.

i didnt want to see you.
true, i didnt see you for the first half of the day.
but still, i saw you later.
i didnt know what i'd say.
i didnt want to know.

do you think i was really laughing?
do you think i was really smiling?
do you think i was just being crazy?
do you know what happened?
do you?

you don't want to know.


but i know what happened.
i didnt know what to say.

he made me realise everything from the beginning.
he made me question myself time and time again.
he made me wonder where this would go.
he made me ask myself again repeatedly,
where was i heading?

i do not know.
i really dont know how long i can keep this up.
i really dont.

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my com just happily lagged me out. hmph!

today was just a weird day for me. i didnt seem to get any work done and for the first time in my life, i fell asleep within the first fifteen minutes of my last lesson. which is surprising because i dont usually sleep in lessons. pray that this will not be the start to such sleeping sessions, because i still need my sanity.

and worst of all, my handwriting goes all haywire and illegible after that. XDD

but kinda glad for choir practice today. really brought something to look forward to in the midst of a middle week. its always nice to see the familiar faces and the laughter that would somehow creep around the room. haii, must start practicing my soprano range soon. if not, i'll just slowly lose my falsetto which is like the worst thing that could ever happen. XDD

note to self: never eat icekacang in an aircon environment again because its just gonna freeze me for the rest of day. and its going to cause my hands to shiver whilst eating my food.

and i'm still getting the chills now. rahh.

to the little bell that chimes in my ear:
yupp, thanks for talking to me today. really nice to just talk without having any restrictions. or without any little birds fluttering around to listen in to the conversation. though it seemed kinda short, it was meaningful and just the world seem a little happier. ((:


please.

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You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

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i wasnt myself today.
that i know.

i really dunno why. maybe its the stress of doing too many things at once and having too much on my mind. i guess its just taking a toll on me. a huge one at that. i really dunno why its happening right now at this time. maybe one might call this a mid-life crisis, maybe its just stress put simplistically. really didnt feel like replying or talking or doing anything and the only way that i could find a simple solution was to drown myself in work. maybe having a mid-life crisis is not that bad after all, at least it gets my mountinous work done.

maybe, just maybe.

many might not see that, but i know i took it out on some of the people around me. you know who you are. it was quite obvious i know because i chose not to reciprocate. i know that you all did it trying to make me feel better, but like what someone said, it might just make the pain seem a little more significant, the mess a little clearer to the eye. maybe i did right to leave from the world, even for just awhile, to get a little alone time to sort things out. i just didnt know where things were going, the road ahead seemed a little faded and misty.

and i just sat in the middle of where i was.
to wait.

to my little family.
thanks for the words of concern. no matter how, i always end the day with a smile because of you all. i know you all wanted to help but really, sometimes, i need to settle some things myself. however much i want and need help, something deep in there is telling me that i just have to walk this path. alone.
but i really appreciate all that you all have done. i dont want you all to do anything for me, i dont want you all to carry the world for me, i dont want you all to change the world for me. i dont need all that. really.

just be there when i need you. to stand beside me when i need help. to be there, that silent but comforting presence.
and this, i thank you.

hugs. (:

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guo wei -- [noun]: A master of storytelling 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

so true.
hoever you want to interpret it. XDD

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lazy saturday afternoons. me love..

decided to rewatch 'city of angels' again because there was nothing better featured in the goggle box. yupp, i just fell in love with it all over again. its like 'lakehouse', a romantic movie without cheesy scenes and cheesy lines. and of course, there are incentives like great music in the background. but its really nice because the storyline is clean, simple and touching. one thing that struck me was the things that we take for granted in our everyday lives and how it can mean so much to others. we take seeing for granted but have we ever thought how much does one who is blind want to see his/her surroundings? and only when we lose something do we miss and cherish it. just that we take things for granted. its just a simple message but it just struck a chord.

if anyone wants to borrow it, ya can just tell me.

i just appreciate talking to you. you help me elevate my sianest of times and keep me chuckling and making everyone look at me with utmost curiosity. must all the same, i appreciate you standing by my side when i need you the most. haha. XDD

i better get a headstart on my homework for the weekend. hmph!

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i must be really bored. XDD

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do the following without complaining.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say that he/she has been tagged.

FAVOURITES:
color: black. green. white. dark blue.
food: chocolates. icecream.
song: everything and more.
movie: lakehouse.
sport: swimming.
day of the week: friday.
season: winter.
ice-cream: b&j!

CURRENT:
mood: confused.
taste: watered down.
clothes: my spca shirt and shorts.
desktop: xiamen grp choir pic for wallpaper
time: 9.29pm
surroundings: bedroom
annoyance: my itunes playing weird songs.
thoughts: you. ((:

FIRSTS:
best friend: kejun.
crush: peggy. :)
movie: erm.. some disney movie la.
music: must be some weird tonking on the piano by me.

LASTS
cigarette: never.
drink: skyjuice.
ride: bus 410.
crush: erm. somebody.. obviously i'm not telling right?
movie: the lakehouse. ((:
phone call: zhengkai.

HAVE YOU EVER:
dated one of your best friends: of course it'll be a girl but so far never.
been arrested: never.
skinny-dipped: never, not in the future either.
been on tv: just a little flash.
kissed someone you don't know: never will be.

THINGS:
4 things you did today: played my piano. creating effervesence in my polysterene cup. coughed. msged some ppl. XDD
4 sounds you can hear right now: my cough. the television. the sound of me tapping on my keyboard. 'my destiny' by katharine mcphee. ((:

The chosen TEN(i dont abide by the rules) to do this:
see? i'm nice. i'm not tagging anyone to do this thing unlike the person who asked me to do this who's s..*mumblemumble* haha, joking joking. XDD

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okay i admit it. i'm just lazy.
no larr. somehow, i just dont want to blog about xiamen. because i know that once i blog about xiamen, it will seem like a closure to everything that has happened.
i just dont want it to end.
but i know that someday it will.

i still remember thinking a few months ago that xiamen was just a distant dream. there was much talk about it but it was just too big for it to be real. prague never seemed to be like this. the emotional rollarcoaster, everything. sometimes, its so big that it scares the wits out of me. but sooner than i thought, it just came past and ran down the other corner. it came and disappeared.

its overwhelming in every aspect.

along came the bliss of having great friends.
great friends to talk to.
great friends to be around.
there wasnt any need for talk or speech.
just the knowledge that them next to me brought smiles.
i'm glad i had you all around, making the day a little brighter and sunnier, the rainy days a little dryer, the tears a little more bearable.

xiamen brought along the extremities of emotions. its shocking the spectrum of emotions that lined each day. it was emotionally and physically tiring.
but i never wanted it to end.

i found it. i found moments when i wanted time to just stop, many in fact. the point when the results came through. the moment just before the competition. the running up to receive the award. the singing of the national anthem. the no importa la distancia. the singing as one choir. everything.

given the choice, i'll take this rollercoaster all over again.

ajchoir makes me cry.
ajchoir makes me smile.
ajchoir. ((:

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