will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?
and before this gets old, will it still feel the same?
- pat benatar

+++

watched '13 going on 30 last night,
i didnt mean to watch the show because i cant remember the number of times,
and i kinda thought that i was bored with it.

but none of my shows seemed to load so i ate in front of jennifer garner,
and she amused me and made me fall in love all over again.
there's something about such old-school love that brings me back.
the photography, the random dancing and the wind in the hair,
always seems to get me.

it brought me back to when i was seventeen,
when i first fell so deeply, it took me so much to pull me back up.
i've not felt this feeling today since like what, four years ago?!
and it seemed like it was just yesterday.

the spontaneous shock of seeing you,
i cant believe the last time i blushed so furiously seriously.
oh gawd, i'm in such a mess.

to think that last night, i wanted to just heck it,
and give this up.
today turned it all around.

but really, i think i'm being self-indulgent.
to you, i may be this crazy maniacal fool.
i probably am and i never wanted to be this way.
i hate myself like this, a needy mess like a melting icecream cone.
i dont like sitting on the train thinking to myself, of the 'woulda coulda shoulda'.
because all of it will probably will never come true, because you were a castle on a cloud.

okay i have to stop it,
and stop moping and thinking that its real.
yes, you made my day but bumping into you but thats all.
no one likes kissing a fool.

expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.

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