trying to be perfect,
trying not to let you down.
honesty is honestly,
the hardest thing for me right no;
- kris allen

+++

for once, i am glad today is saturday.
finally i have time to rest my head and well, rest.

i'm so glad i made time for the food hunt.
i havent seen them peeps in the longest time,
and it was nice just to hang loose and not bother at all.
back to times that were simple and ever so filled with laughs.
thats what you get with friends whom you've known for so long.
so if you see this, thanks for yesterday.
i really needed it (:

a sudden conversation led to love that makes your heart race.
so i asked, 'do you believe in love that makes your heart race?'

my answer is no.
i did, i really did.
i wore the rosiest-tinted glasses.
but now, its such a joke that i laugh so chillingly that i amuse myself.
love does not make your heart race, it simply tickles and amuses me.
to me, instant gratification works, and all these games do not last.
one day, you will finally wake up and knock your head.
and you will realise how stupid you have been.

its weird how harsh i am now.
definitely not pessimistic but a turn for something worse.
it might have been the fatigue or the food talking,
but the darkness has never been more welcoming.

okay maybe its the fatigue talking,
cos i feel a light buzz thats getting me irritable.

week seven,
and i kind of have no idea what's going on.
we're moving into the project,
and honestly it has scaring me shitless.
cos now, i'm all on my own;
and i don't know if i can push myself.
on the same note, its not like i have a choice.

let me sleep on this,
to mull over this like hot wine.
and that i'm gonna take another step.

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