some will win, some will lose,
some were born to sing the blues.
oh the movie never ends,
it goes on and on and on and on.
- glee

+++

right now i just feel like charlie brown does.
sometimes sitting alone with a brown bagged lunch,
and seemingly unable to kick that stupid friggin' football.

still nursing from a headache from this afternoon,
the nap did seem to cushion the pain,
but when my dad woke me up, the split second that i turned my head,
it was back.
popped panadols and the throbbing is less obvious now.

maybe it wasnt such a good idea to go online.
(well hello duh, it was obviously the worst idea)
now that mild stalking is so quintessential to me,
i see conversations and suddenly i feel so very alone.
its almost like i'm just sitting on the bench self-consciously munching my apple.

schoolwork that's having reality hitting me so hard in the face
is keeping me at home so i cant do any action towards it either.
but it makes me pine, it makes me whiny and seemingly lovesick and i dont like it.
because it makes me think of all the 'what if'-s and well, i put you straight in that position.
and then, i dont have to worry or bother what others do or think.

but, you probably dont feel the same do you.
so vague and ever so unwilling to extend the probably-nonexistent conversation.
and you got me whining again.

and for the umpteenth time,
i wonder if i was born to sing the blues.


time to get back to work.
cos then, i might actually deserve to go to hk with the family this weekend.

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