i've got the time and i'm wasting it slowly
here in this moment i'm half way out the door
onto the next thing,
i'm searching for something that's missing

there's gotta be more to life...
than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me.

+++


hellooo!
why am i doing up so late?
i should be waking up at eight and making my life worthwhile.
VERY MUCH MORE WORTHWHILE.
hmph!

sometimes thinking back,
i wonder if i'm taking into consideration at all.
just a passing phase, probably there when there's a need.
naturally, the immediate reaction to this would be:
"oh no, no lah. you krazee ah. of kors you matter!"
nah, i'm not getting into depression or what nots,
just wondering and letting that little train of thought linger at the edge of my mind.
it might fester it might not.

looking at past and future events,
i ask myself if i really want to be part of it.
there are hardly any close people with me,
and it seems like i wasnt asked or thought of during the planning.
its not that i feel blessed and honoured to be part of it,
but i ask myself if i was considered in your comprehensive planning.
probably not huh, i can kind of see that.
its then i ask myself if do i want this, at all.

or do i need this for some other reason i already know?

am terribly upset with last minute plans.
though i'm one for spontaneity,
when i've got everything planned out
i dont want to be running around looking for help like a crazed chicken.
ahh the word is helpless, i dont want to feel helpless.
but then again, i was damn craving for em h&m shopping and crazy good dimsum.



and then i said,
dude, your perspective on life sucks.

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