YES.
*pooof* and its all over.

primertwo is unofficially over
with documentation being handed up this afternoon.
knowing me, i just had to get everything done the night before,
even if i had to sleep at erm five in the morning.
but i was done (i think) by two!
so i was pweety proud of myself,
tho i was kinda dissatisfied with my process sketches,
i really cant be bothered anymore.
two/three weeks of this has drained me enough bah.

morning was spent helping other people with work.
and when someone started to semi-hurl (playfully i tink) insults,
i was this close to breaking point.
it was 'hey bitch you dont wanna piss me off now'
if i started, there would have been plenty of tears and war wounds on the other side of the room.

sighh this is weird and getting to me.
and i have no idea why.
classmates have been telling me throughout the different primers
that this course is a mistake.
usually i take it with a bucket of salt and blame the intensity and stress of work,
but today, i was the first one who said it.

it was kinda weird.
cos i'm getting paranoid and very competitive.
maybe its a good thing but my mood takes a swing too.
even druggie said, 'hey, you'll be nicer once crit is over right?'
i was momentarily dumbfounded.

its like having ur head under water,
you struggle to keep urself afloat.
you know you can, but upon seeing how far the next island is,
and trying to support ur mates around you who are drowning.
you start to wonder when who's gonna hold you when ur legs get tired.

tash and shaun struck a chord today.
they admitted that they're selfcentred people,
thats why they can click.
and i realised (of which they agreed) that i'm selfsacrificial.
somehow, they seem feed on me, for lack of a better expression.
i mean look, the first to offer to help and the one with the gummies (katjes!!)

and then i get rubbish like butterfly.
ohwait, i mean fuckerfly cos so&so was with the dog today.
usually i feed on simple stuff like just a glance,
but today whether on purpose or not, it just killed me.
okay, no one knows what i'm talking about but yeah,
i just have to retch this out.

sometimes the things that keep me sane in school,
they are the ones who make me go bonkers.
and when its gone, i'll miss it.
wow, some psycho fun in my brain today.

i swear that i seem to be on weed sometimes,
i'm even tempted to follow to butterfactory on saturday gosh.

but am kinda resolved now.
i'm gonna blow the minds off fuckerfly, dog, wind for crit.
bring ur biggest guns bitches,
cos guowei's in da house and he aint going down without a fight.
prepare those defences well cos they're coming down on tuesday.
and when they say ur best friends are ur worst enemies?
watchout, cos i'm gonna be your best friend and shoot you down.

tueday.
eat your heart out bitches!


on a completely different (and less scary and happier) note,
ikea meatballs and cheesecake are looove
more so the 90cent stuffed toys.
i even talked to that little blue elephant on the way home.
(:


***

ain't no headlights on the road tonight
if you had another night to give,
i'll have another night to live,
but your never gonna see me cry the last goodbye.

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