its been a crazy weekend.
not in a good way.


the news arrived on saturday morning.
after my 14hour sleep from the much lackofit throughout the week.
it didnt register.
not to me, my family.
or at least, not yet.

rushing down to the hospital.
it still seemed like something that didnt happen.
but upon seeing my uncle cold on the bed.
it got the better of me.

the wake these past three days
seemed neverending.
but that it just seem like one long day squeezed into one venue.
to the children of my uncle,
its not the day or the evening that was hard to go through
but the dead of the night that seemed more lonely.

i didnt mind staying
though i could see the late nights taking their toll
esp on the closest of kin
the staring into midair,
the rushing to settle and do every small thing.

but somehow,
it allowed the family to bond.
to meet up with relatives not seen in a long time.
to spend time just to catch up and talk.


met cousins whom i havent seen in a long time.
some really changed but yet seemingly familiar.

today was the cremation.
upon seeing the coffin moved away just broke something inside me.
its as if the realization that my uncle is finally gone, snapped.
seeing my uncle and aunts breaking down as they saw their brother for the last time
them shedding their tough exterior
seeing them so weak and fragile,
even for just that moment just did it all.

people cried.
i cried, and i'm not ashamed to admit it.
what caught me was my uncles and aunts calling out
for hope that my uncle would stay.
his children calling out father, for one last time.
emotionally charged,
and it brought me to my knees.


its that
everyone is just human
and no one can stop the cycles of life.
one day, the person next to you might just leave.
and no one knows when.
its then when you realise that material posessions and wealth dont matter anymore.
that family matters all so much.

its to cherish
and to praise for each new day you get to share with your family and friends.
cos for someone in this world,
it may be his/her last.

no one will ever get over it.
but time will heal those scars.
pray for those who left their brother behind
pray for those who left their father behind.


goodbye yi pa fu.
i know that you'll be in a better place.

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