i wasnt myself today.
that i know.

i really dunno why. maybe its the stress of doing too many things at once and having too much on my mind. i guess its just taking a toll on me. a huge one at that. i really dunno why its happening right now at this time. maybe one might call this a mid-life crisis, maybe its just stress put simplistically. really didnt feel like replying or talking or doing anything and the only way that i could find a simple solution was to drown myself in work. maybe having a mid-life crisis is not that bad after all, at least it gets my mountinous work done.

maybe, just maybe.

many might not see that, but i know i took it out on some of the people around me. you know who you are. it was quite obvious i know because i chose not to reciprocate. i know that you all did it trying to make me feel better, but like what someone said, it might just make the pain seem a little more significant, the mess a little clearer to the eye. maybe i did right to leave from the world, even for just awhile, to get a little alone time to sort things out. i just didnt know where things were going, the road ahead seemed a little faded and misty.

and i just sat in the middle of where i was.
to wait.

to my little family.
thanks for the words of concern. no matter how, i always end the day with a smile because of you all. i know you all wanted to help but really, sometimes, i need to settle some things myself. however much i want and need help, something deep in there is telling me that i just have to walk this path. alone.
but i really appreciate all that you all have done. i dont want you all to do anything for me, i dont want you all to carry the world for me, i dont want you all to change the world for me. i dont need all that. really.

just be there when i need you. to stand beside me when i need help. to be there, that silent but comforting presence.
and this, i thank you.

hugs. (:

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